For All Your Sins
by Dulcedecorumest
Summary: Damon and Stefan talk after he reveals his werewolf bite.


**Fic**: { Title: **For****All****Your****Sins**}

**Fandom**: Vampire Diaries

**Characters**: Damon, Stefan, mentions of Elena Gilbert, Katherine Pierce, Jeremy Gilbert, Alaric Saltzman, Bonnie Bennet, Caroline Forbes, Jenna & Lexi

**Pairings:** Canon

**Rating**: PG-13

**Word****Count**: 2,063

**Beta**: **ozmissage**thank you so much bb!

**Author****'****s****Note**: After watching the tail end of TVD Season 2 about three times, and reading some amazing fanfic and meta... this plotbunny would just not leave me alone. I wrote this before Season 3 aired, and I haven't seen it yet (season 3) so obviously there are no spoilers.

**Summary**: Damon and Stefan talk after Damon reveals his werewolf bite to Stefan.

Stefan stood in the doorway of Damon's bedroom and watched his brother toss and turn fitfully on the big bed. His heart ached at the thought of losing Damon forever.

He inched into the room as he thought back to their younger days when they had been two rowdy little boys, when things like vampires and bloodlust had been the stuff of scary stories the slaves used to talk about in frightened and hushed tones.

Stefan could see himself and Damon with piercing clarity as they huddled under the covers in Damon's bed.

"Damon, I am afraid. What if the vampires come to get me?" He whispered tremulously, his whole body quaking.

Damon threw his arm around Stefan holding him close, "Do not worry baby brother, I will never allow anything bad to happen to you. I will always keep you safe."

Stefan rested his head on Damon's shoulder, comforted by his brother's words, he had eventually drifted to sleep.

Over the years, lying in Damon's bed when he was frightened, sick or merely in need of comfort had become as natural as breathing.

The night before Damon had gone to fight for the Confederate army, he climbed into his brother's bed. Damon, half asleep, had instinctively made room for him and held Stefan's hand.

"Stefan do not worry, I will be alright," Damon had mumbled.

"You do not know that. Damon, war is dangerous and unpredictable and senseless."

Damon groaned opening his eyes, "Stefan have I ever let you down?"

Stefan shook his head, his eyes never leaving Damon's.

"Now, do you not think that my dying would be a breach of my promise to always keep you safe?" He reasoned with an affectionate smirk.

Stefan nodded, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"I'm going to war because that is what Father expects of me but I am also going so that you will not have to."

Stefan's eyes teared up, "Damon, what if you are hit by canon fire?"

"I will undoubtedly suffer horrific burns, but I will not die. I made you a promise and I intend to keep it. Lord knows what Father would have you become without me."

Stefan took a deep breath ready to bring up the gruesome stories of battle he had read and Damon rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Come, put your head on my pillow and close your eyes."

"Damon."

"Stefan, please."

Stefan inched closer, doing as he had been told.

"Now, tell me about Meredith Fells and how it felt to brush up against her glorious heaving bosom."

Stefan blushed, "It was not intentional Damon and rather embarassing for Miss Meredith."

"Of course," Damon said with mock seriousness.

"It is improper for me to speak of a breach in etiquette like what happened-"

"Dear Lord, of course it is improper... in polite company. However, it is proper if you want to sleep here tonight. Roles have been reversed little brother, I want you to tell me a bedtime story and I choose the story of Meredith Fell's enticing breasts."

"Damon!" There was a tremor of mirth in the exclamation.

"Stefan!"

Cheeks and ears flushed, the younger Salvatore began talking while Damon played with his hair, interjecting with sarcastic quips now and again. Before Stefan knew it he had fallen asleep, dreaming of finally losing his virginity to the most beautiful girl in Mystic Falls. When he woke up the next morning, Damon had left but there was a note.

'_You can sleep in my room whilst I am gone. I will write whenever I can. Do not pay Father any attention and make sure you study hard for law school.'_

Stefan had slept in Damon's bed every night until his return.

Damon's eyes opened suddenly and he sat up in the twisted sheets. When he spotted Stefan, he rolled his eyes.

"Has anyone ever told you that watching people sleep is creepy? Cause it is."

"Has anyone ever told you?"

"Yes. Many times."

Stefan smiled weakly, concern shining in his eyes.

Damon sighed irritably, "What do you want Stefan? Shouldn't you be comforting Elena?"

"She's with Bonnie and Caroline. 'Sides Ric and Jeremy are there too."

"Stefan, I don't need you here being all Emo Stalker. I got bit, and I've had a long, bloody run. And I mean that in the literal sense not the English way. So I-"

"Still need your brother," Stefan finished for him.

"No I don't."

"Do too."

"Do not."

Stefan held up the bottle of bourbon he had been holding since he came into Damon's room.

"Fine. So I'll just leave and take this with me."

Damon leapt out of bed and reached for the bourbon, but Stefan had anticipated the move and moved out of the way. Damon grabbed Stefan around the neck and threw him on the bed. Stefan broke Damon's hold, tossed him across the bed horizontally and sat on him.

Damon grinned as the back of his head dropped down on the mattress in defeat.

"You win."

"I do."

"So get off me."

"Not until you agree to have a drink with me."

Damon shrugged, "Blackmail and physical violence to get someone to spend some time with you. Sounds like chapter one of the Damon Salvatore play-book."

Stefan rolled off his brother and lay next to him on the mattress. Their legs were hanging off one end, resting on the ground.

He unscrewed the cap off the bourbon and took a healthy swig before passing Damon the bottle. Damon did the same, a little of the liquid dribbling down his chin.

Stefan raised an eyebrow at the uncharacteristic sloppiness and without looking at him Damon shrugged.

They lay like that and drank most of the bottle before Damon broke the silence.

"I failed you. For that I'm sorry."

"Damon, you haven't failed me."

"Yes I have. I failed you in 1864 when I knew Katherine had her eye on you and I knew what she was. I should have protected you from her. That was part of my job as your big brother and I failed you."

Stefan felt a lump rise in the back of his throat.

"I think I was so taken with Katherine because... because _you_ were. I worshipped the ground you walked on and when you came back from the war you were so closed off and distant, then she came. And with Katherine's arrival it was like I had my brother back and-"

"I get it Stefan. Believe me I get it." Damon said brokenly.

Silence descended and Stefan felt a tear trickle out of his eye as he smelt the rotting flesh on Damon's arm.

Damon reached out and drew Stefan close like he used to. He kissed Stefan's hair and rubbed his shoulders.

"Don't worry baby brother, it'll be over soon."

"Damon-"

"I'll get Ric or Vampire Barbie to do it. And if they say no, I'm pretty sure Judgy McJudgy would be more than happy to make a Damon torch."

Stefan gathered the sleeve of Damon's good arm in a fist. His eyes sparkling with tears as he glared at his brother.

"Okay, too soon for vampire torch jokes. Got it," Damon quipped with mock pep.

"Brother-"

"Let's drink some more. Neither one of us is drunk enough for this."

Stefan relinquished his hold on Damon's sleeve and accepted the bottle, taking another swig.

Several hours of companiable silence and another bottle of bourbon later, Damon crawled over to the head of the bed and sat up, back pressed against the headboard.

"Did I ever tell you I'm proud of the manpire you've become?"

Stefan shook his head as he mimicked his brother's move and sat next to Damon, shoulder to shoulder.

Damon shrugged, bottle of bourbon hanging limply from his injured arm.

"Well, I am."

"You are?"

"Yes, Stefan. After your last stint as a ripper, and the whole burying that town in Romania thing, I was really worried about you. Thought I was going to have to stake you myself, which believe you me, was too horrifying an idea to contemplate... I tracked down Lexie after locking you up in that farmhouse cellar and ripped her a new one. We'd made a deal, way back in 1865 that she was supposed to help you... keep you on the straight and narrow and you slipping off the wagon so spectacularly, _again_... wasn't part of the deal."

Stefan stared at Damon with dawning comprehension, "I thought I'd seen you in Dacia but I was so confused by the time Lexie got there I didn't know what was real and what wasn't."

"Yeah well, you thinking I didn't actually hate you would've ruined my rep. And deprived you of a source of perpetual angst and brooding."

Stefan's eyes misted, "Why'd you do it then?"

Damon swallowed unnecessarily, his fingers tightening around the bourbon on his lap.

"Non-sequitor much, Stefan?"

He brought the bottle to his lips and took a drink. Stefan waited patiently.

"Why'd I kill Lexie?"

Stefan nodded.

"Cause I could. Cause it was easier to have you hating me. Cause you had Elena and I didn't have Katherine. Cause our ridiculous hometown was sinking its hooks into me. Cause I'm messed up and have been since I fought for the Confederates in a war I didn't believe in and saw enough things to turn me into the damaged, vengeful and impulsive monster that I am today. Cause I was jealous... take your pick, I don't even really know, Stefan."

He took another drink and passed the bottle to his silent sibling who wordlessly, followed suit. Stefan felt panic build in his chest, there was so much to say, so much he wanted to ask Damon, so much more he still needed his big brother for. Just when their relationship was consistently improving he was about to lose him, forever.

"Hey Damon, do you remember that time we bumped into each other at Woodstock?"

"Yeah, I drained these two hippie chicks that were high on acid and shrooms. That was a wicked rad trip."

Stefan chuckled dryly and Damon nudged him with his shoulder.

"Of course you're laughing, you were in a 20 person orgy."

Stefan shrugged, "Yeah well, my brother told me a long time ago that I should try it someday."

"When the participants are willing, no compulsion." They said at the same time.

"Jinx, you owe me a blonde." Damon said quickly.

Stefan's eyes darkened with sadness and Damon rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Dude. Don't be so maudlin! I can't stand it."

"Sorry."

"Yeah, you're sorry, I'm sorry, everybody's fucking sorry."

They stared out into nothing, each lost in 160 years worth of tangled memories.

"Speaking of sorry, I've gotta admit, getting Jenna killed is pretty high up there."

"Something tells me Klaus would've done it anyway."

"Guess we'll never know."

"Guess not."

"Promise me you'll _nail_ that evil son of a bitch. Promise me, Stefan."

"I promise."

"And you're not allowed to get yourself killed in the process or I swear to God, I'll crawl out of Hell and haunt your ass."

Stefan stared at his brother, "Don't talk like that. It's not over yet."

"It will be soon enough."

"Damon-"

"Stefan, even if this bite took a week to kill me and we spent every waking moment talking out our feelings, doing trust falls and singing Kumbaya we still wouldn't cover it. So let's can it, I'm pleasantly buzzed and need to sleep."

"Damon."

There was a brief flash of fear, panic and regret in Damon's eyes before it was gone.

"I'm tired Stefan. I'm tired, in fucking pain and I've got chills that I'm having trouble suppressing. I'm gonna get some shut-eye and I suggest you do the same," his tone strived for irritable.

Stefan's brow creased with worry as Damon burrowed into his creased sheets and turned away from him.

Without thinking, Stefan slid into the sheets behind his brother and gathered him in his arms.

"I won't let anything happen to you, or I'll die trying." He whispered into Damon's ear.

His brother did not respond but he drew Stefan's arms tighter around him and settled into a fitful slumber.

Stefan watched Damon, the wheels in his head turning as he began to formulate a plan on how to save his big brother.


End file.
